I am having a bad day today. A day that instead of focusing on all the positive in my life, I can see the negative so much clearer. I know that is terrible, I know that so many people are in a worse financial state than we are, but today I can only think about us.
Choosing to be a stay at home Mom was an easy decision for me. I knew I did not want my babies anywhere else other than with me. As the toddler years crept in, I started 2nd guessing my decision as the days seemed much longer when you have to chase a busy toddler around. Now with 2 school agers and a (very) busy toddler I seem to 2nd guess my decision every day. Some days I feel like the last thing in this world I am cut out to be is a stay at home mother....other days I cannot imagine anything else.
A lot of Mom's say to me "oh your so lucky to be in a place where you can afford to stay home with the kids." I am lucky yes....can we really "afford" for me to stay at home....kinda....maybe? My kids are fed, clothed, safe, loved etc....can we up and take a week long vacation somewhere? NO! Do we ever seem to have extra money kicking around? NO! Can we just buy what we want when we want? Absolutely NOT.
I babysit to try and contribute but unless you have a registered daycare OR a whole lot of kids it really doesn't pay. I LOVE the kids I babysit but with only 2 before/after school kids I don't really "contribute" to the family finances all that much. Parents do not like the idea of "guaranteed days" (which basically means if you need me 5 days a week...I get paid 5 days a week, regardless. The same as a daycare would be). This makes budgeting impossible. With that being said, if I could find 10 more kids to babysit like the 2 I have now I would be "mackin."
I am at the point now where it is either find more before/after school kids OR find a job. I feel like we would be so much better off if I had a "real" job. I almost feel as though it is my fault that we don't have very much "fun" money. ($$ that does not need to go the power company or grocery stores ;) Prince Charming assures me it is NOT my fault and me staying home is better for the boys. I agree it is and if I was making money for taking care of my boys, life would be perfect :) Unfortunately it doesn't work that way and nobody in my area seems to be looking for childcare sooo I don't really know what to do :(
I think I need a nap. My Grampy is in the hospital & I have not gone to bed before 12 this whole week. My kids are probably excited to get the heck to school next week and away from me. Ugh.
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1 comments:
Honestly, I think that kids who get to have a day at the camp, or at Tante's house, or even to the beach, is better than trying to pack up and travel for a week to do what you can do right in your own area ~ its better for them and easier on you. Don't worry, both my parents worked full time and the first full blown family vacation wasn't until I was 15, and it was to my cousins wedding in PEI where half my family were going anyway. Family is the place to be,
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