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Friday, September 2, 2011

Money Tree?

I am currently looking for seeds...the kind that will grow a big fat money tree. Know where I can find some?

I am having a bad day today. A day that instead of focusing on all the positive in my life, I can see the negative so much clearer. I know that is terrible, I know that so many people are in a worse financial state than we are, but today I can only think about us.
Choosing to be a stay at home Mom was an easy decision for me. I knew I did not want my babies anywhere else other than with me. As the toddler years crept in, I started 2nd guessing my decision as the days seemed much longer when you have to chase a busy toddler around. Now with 2 school agers and a (very) busy toddler I seem to 2nd guess my decision every day. Some days I feel like the last thing in this world I am cut out to be is a stay at home mother....other days I cannot imagine anything else.
A lot of Mom's say to me "oh your so lucky to be in a place where you can afford to stay home with the kids." I am lucky yes....can we really "afford" for me to stay at home....kinda....maybe? My kids are fed, clothed, safe, loved etc....can we up and take a week long vacation somewhere? NO! Do we ever seem to have extra money kicking around? NO! Can we just buy what we want when we want? Absolutely NOT.
I babysit to try and contribute but unless you have a registered daycare OR a whole lot of kids it really doesn't pay. I LOVE the kids I babysit but with only 2 before/after school kids I don't really "contribute" to the family finances all that much. Parents do not like the idea of  "guaranteed days" (which basically means if you need me 5 days a week...I get paid 5 days a week, regardless. The same as a daycare would be). This makes budgeting impossible. With that being said, if I could find 10 more kids to babysit like the 2 I have now I would be "mackin."
I am at the point now where it is either find more before/after school kids OR find a job. I feel like we would be so much better off if I had a "real" job. I almost feel as though it is my fault that we don't have very much "fun" money. ($$ that does not need to go the power company or grocery stores ;) Prince Charming assures me it is NOT my fault and me staying home is better for the boys. I agree it is and if I was making money for taking care of my boys, life would be perfect :) Unfortunately it doesn't work that way and nobody in my area seems to be looking for childcare sooo I don't really know what to do :(
I think I need a nap. My Grampy is in the hospital & I have not gone to bed before 12 this whole week. My kids are probably excited to get the heck to school next week and away from me. Ugh.


Christina said...

Honestly, I think that kids who get to have a day at the camp, or at Tante's house, or even to the beach, is better than trying to pack up and travel for a week to do what you can do right in your own area ~ its better for them and easier on you. Don't worry, both my parents worked full time and the first full blown family vacation wasn't until I was 15, and it was to my cousins wedding in PEI where half my family were going anyway. Family is the place to be,

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